Mushkaaannn

Zahid Iqbal Khan and Mrs. Zahid beat the final boss of parenting: birth. Delivered in peak July heat — science now confirms this is the exact root cause of a thermostat permanently stuck on "unhinged."

Grows up with kitty eyes she still owns to this day. Brain cells: under construction since 2006. Contractor never showed up. Refund pending.

Baby was mid full-blown rage. Lips just happened to curl wide like the Joker's. Two sleep-deprived parents made the single greatest clerical error in family history — naming a walking tantrum Muskan, "smile." The universe has been laughing about it since.

Attendance: legally required. Enthusiasm: buried in the same grave as the missing brain cells. Rumor has it the school itself prayed for her graduation.

Only college she's ever set foot in. Picks Bio here hoping to locate the missing-brain rumor firsthand. Finds nothing. Publishes a groundbreaking, entirely self-reviewed theory instead: the whole world is wrong, only she is right. Peer review still pending. Forever.

Clears Fazaia with a legendary W, secured through elite, black-market "creative research methods." Investigators — also known as her teachers — never cracked the case.

Leaves Fazaia behind, joins Air University Kamra, and abandons Bio for Computer Science — a bold hypothesis that swapping subjects might swap the brain situation. Results: pending, indefinitely. Cheating game: still gold-medal tier.

Announces plans to become a therapist. The irony police have been notified. Also: official, unchallenged, forever-champion of the "Dumbest Girl on Earth" Olympics. No silver medal was awarded — nobody else even qualified.

Okay, jokes aside — dumb people really are the sweetest ones. Ya Allah, keep her safe, keep her heart light, and make her road easy. Ameen. 🤲